Perception Is Reality

I just could not sleep last night. Tossing and turning, cursing, and watching infomercials did nothing to help Mr. Sandman find me. So I thought if I am going to have to stay awake I might as well learn something. I watched an A&E Program (or Science Channel, can't remember) called, "Who Killed Julius Caesar?" It was a fascinating program about a famous police investigator from Scotland Yard who investigates Julius Caesar's death. He really had nothing to go on except the written accounts of the murder from other Senators who were not part of the plot. He also used the talents of a German born Forensic Psychiatrist from Harvard. Together they determined that Caesar suffered from Temporal Epilepsy by reading the accounts of his mysterious illness that plagued him for years and caused him to have "fits". Hence the term seizure that we use today, named for "Caesar's fits". Julius knew his illness was progressing and he had started to lose control of his bodily functions during his "fits". He knew his time was nearly up and he would have to step down. In addition, it is recorded in accounts of several different Senators that Caesar was warned by multiple people of the murder plot against him. So what does it all mean? Well, let's see, Julius dismissed his body guards the day of the murder. Several weeks before his death he changed his will and adopted a son named Octavian. He left everything to him and enough money to every citizen of Rome to live for three months. I won't go into everything, but given all the evidence, it looks like Julius may have outsmarted all of them. He planned his own death, secured his place in history, and insured the survival of his legacy all by letting the murder plot succeed even though he knew it was about to happen. He even knew the date and time. Suicide by Senator.

The purpose to all this? I have often wondered how much of history as we know it is true. We make a lot of assumptions in writing history. Many times those assumptions are less than objective. We cycle them through our own prejudices and social mores of the time. I have come to believe over the years that most of our written history is fallacy. Most of the written history is based on the same oral tradition of learning that we have always had. By that I mean, that even though we claim to be an advanced society, we still do most of the educating and learning through oral communication. Oral communication is very prone to exaggeration and downright falsification. History is nothing more than writing down the stories others tell us. When it comes down to it, who knows what the truth really is? Just ask Julius Caesar.

Home Sweet Home

Yesterday I returned to my homeland. A land not so far away in mileage but the distance between their society and the one I live in now is huge. It's a place where almost everything closes on Sunday. A place where there's one grocery store, one red light, and one doctor. Part of me loves going back. It's a comforting feeling. A familiar feeling. The rest of me, the part of me not drowning in nostalgia, screams to leave the moment we arrive. I walk into my mother's house, put my luggage in the spare bedroom filled with my sister's and my stuffed animals, and hang out my "The Doctor Is In Shingle". My family has never understood that I am not a doctor. I am a Clinical Laboratory Scientist and that ain't the same. They don't care. From the moment my grandmother finds out that I'm at my mother's she starts calling me with every ache and pain. My mother has medical records for her and my step dad that she has saved since my last visit. I must review them and interpret every result, reference range, and notation for the both of them. My aunt calls with her epic saga of "female problems". Everything from yeast infections to constipation, nothing is too embarrassing for her to share with me...In vivid, colorful, nauseating detail.

My mother fills her house with refined sugar sweets, chocolate milk, and caffeinated beverages just for my children. I spend my time, in between seeing patients, prying my children off the ceiling. A good portion of my time is also spent giving my children "the eye". Any mother will know what I am talking about. It's the look you give your children when you want them to stop whatever they're doing but you don't want everyone to hear you say it. I got the chance to give "the eye" many times over this Thanksgiving. My son, who is famous in my family for his comments, got "the eye" many times. He told my mother that her pajamas matched her bed sheets. They were both the same "flower looking" design. On another occasion, he told my mother that her hair "looks like the hair style that the mother from 'That 70's Show' wears". I was so proud....

Well, just a few notes to let everyone know that their families are not as strange as they think. After all, you could have my family!

Happy Thanksgiving!....or Whatever It's Called...

Well, it's that time of year again. The time when we gather with our loved ones, or family, whichever is available. We eat too much, drink too much, and basically feel ill for 24 hrs. Then, if we're lucky, we eat leftovers for the next few days. I believe that it's the leftovers that make it nearly impossible for us to eat turkey again for a long time. We're so sick of it that we can't stand the thought of eating it again for several months! It's this time of the year that we wrap ourselves in the ignorance that has become our Thanksgiving myth. Curiously, our modern day holiday bears no resemblance to the first Thanksgiving in 1621. Here, courtesy of the History Channel, are a few myths surrounding our overindulgence holiday.

1) The pilgrims had a holiday with the Wampanoag Indians called Thanksgiving in which they gave thanks to God.

The real story- The Pilgrims were there, the Wampanoag Indians were there but that's the only thing the truth and the holiday story have in common. The pilgrims decided to have harvest feast to celebrate a fruitful year. It was a secular feast, not the religious Thanksgiving we are lead to believe. It would have been considered blasphemous to include the Indians in the actual Thanksgiving.

2) The first Thanksgiving lead to the actual Thanksgiving we know now.

The real story- This was a one time deal for the pilgrims. They had a nice dinner, but that's the last dinner they would have as a harvest festival for a long time. The Thanksgiving we know today wasn't started until 1817 by the New York Congress.

3) They ate Turkey, corn, and pumpkin pie.

The real story - Have you ever tried to hunt a turkey? The damned things are hard to shoot, they spook very easy. So why do we think that men with muzzle loaded guns could do it? The truth is that vegetables were out of season, there was little sugar or vanilla, so there were no sweets or vegetables to be had. There were no ovens, so no cakes or pies. The pilgrim hunters tended to shoot foul mainly quail and the like, no turkeys. They were also able to dry venison (deer meat) so it was also served. The few written records on the event show that there was venison, quail and foul, and dried indian corn....that's it.

4) The pilgrims had their feast on the fourth Thursday in November.

The real story - You don't really believe that do you? If you have a harvest feast, it usually occurs around harvest time. So...the feast occurred somewhere between the middle of September and the first of November. The exact date was not recorded.

Well, there you have it. The rest of the story.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good feast!

Your Cheatin' Heart

I have spent another day as a Domestic Goddess. Cooking, cleaning, and laundry filled my day with glee. I love the smell of cooking food in the house. It makes it feel like a home to me. The sounds of my children fighting each other over who gets the last Yoo-Hoo, along with the smell of baking bread fills me with domestic bliss (and a small amount of homicidal rage...but mostly domestic bliss). Among my many activities today, I found time to have my usual Sunday conversation via phone with my mother. She has an uncanny ability to make me question every decision that I have made since I was 10 yrs old. She always manages to work my lack of a boyfriend or significant other into the conversation. This is seen as a major deficit in my life by her. A deficit rivaled only by the one carried by our government. Hell, our government is better off than I am in her eyes. I told her what I tell her every time we have this conversation. I choose to be alone. I don't want to be with anyone. Relationships take time and energy, both of which I have precious little. Not only that, but men are biologically prone to cheat. Yes, I said it and I'm not taking it back. Men simply can't keep it in their pants! Men have a biological need to have sex with different women. Most of them are not biologically capable of manogamy. When I say most of them, I mean roughly 90% and up. Oprah did a show on cheating males a few months ago. Most of the men said they didn't cheat because the other woman was more attractive. They said it wasn't because the sex was better. They all (yes I said ALL) said they didn't know exactly why they cheated. Well, I can tell you why. It's called having a Y chromosome. If you're a man, you have a 90% chance of being unfaithful.

If I really believed a man could be faithful to me for the rest of his life, then I might seriously look for a relationship. I don't believe it's possible. I don't fault men for this, it is purely biology. By the way, I'm not the only one who thinks this way. There are actually several books on the subject. One book by an evolutional biologist from Harvard says that most men can stay faithful to a woman for only 4-5 years max. This is the time it takes for a human child to go from baby to being able to feed himself and take care of his basic needs. She says this is no coincidence. After the child reaches age 4-5 yrs old, a man will instinctively feel the need to move on to another woman.

Well, of course there are men who are more evolved. Men who can stay faithful. Those men are extremely rare and most are married or have boyfriends. :))

Social Darwinism

I have discovered that in life there are few absolutes. The "truth" that we all seem to value so much is every bit as subjective as our opinions. I often say that something is "the truth as I see it". The only absolute truth that I know is truth based on mathematics. So....with all that said I will get to the "truth" of this post.

Back in the mid 19th Century a philosopher named Herbert Spencer proposed that Darwin's theory of Survival of the Fittest applied to the social evolution of the races and not just biological evolution. He proposed that the inferior intellect of the other races would forever make them lower classes and not allow them to advance in society. Well, we all know that "philosophy" such as that is only thinly veiled racism. It's a repugnant theory to justify not helping your fellow man.

I happen to believe in my own version of social darwinism. I believe that within all races and within all social groups there are different levels of "awareness" among people. Some people can not see beyond their own situation. They see themselves as separate from the rest of the world. Consumed by their own problems, regardless of the severity of those problems. These people will achieve only a small amount of success in their lives. They will forever be wrapped in their small worlds unable to see a bigger picture. We see these people everyday. They are the people with a constant crisis in their life. They complain, they are always someone else's victim.

I have found that success is directly proportional to how a person sees themselves in the world. The more you see yourself as part of the bigger picture, the more likely you are to achieve success. (Success being defined as having a satisfying career and personal life, money is optional for success)

I realize that this post may indeed sound like the ramblings of a crazy woman, maybe it is. It is a difficult concept to put in a few sentences. I do feel that it is true. The more you see yourself as part of the world picture, the more likely you are to be successful. Strange, but it's the truth as I see it.

WalMart Philosophy

My blog post today will be in the tradition of the great philosophers such as Plato, Kahlil Gibran, and of course Garth Brooks. Few things make me ponder the meaning of life like a trip to WalMart. It seems to be a petri dish for the human condition. Every kind of dysfunction is represented at WalMart. I should know, I go there all the time. It's one of the few places in the US where you can find a Porsche parked next to a 1977 Monte Carlo. There are many questions I have that resulted from my many trips to WalMart. I will list just a few.

1) Is it considered fashionable for an overweight woman with cellulite to wear white spandex leggings?

2) How many things can they put the NASCAR logo on? Is there really a demand for NASCAR diapers?

3) Is there a weight limit for those Jazzy Scooters(motorized chairs)?

4) If two Jazzy Scooters enter the condiment isle at the same time, who has the "right of way"?

5) Can't you get a ticket for riding your grandkids in the basket of the Jazzy Scooter?

6) Is it necessary to fight for the last Christmas popcorn tin?

7) Do people really buy their living room suites from WalMart? If so, do they have to glue it together according to instructions?

8) What the hell is up with that damned smiley face everywhere?

9) Why is the majority of the book department made up of coloring books?

10) Is there an age requirement to be a greeter? Do you have to be between 80 yrs old and 100 years old? Is being legally blind a requirement?

Well, this is just a few things I have pondered over the years. Personally, I would be willing to pay whatever price is necessary to keep those white leggings off the fat women. I believe that spandex is part of the dress code at WalMart.

I don't have the answers to the above questions. How about you? Do you have any ideas or even additional questions to add?

Morals and Marlboros

Ok, now I'm over it. I'm really tired of hearing from the religious zealots on the right about their superior lifestyles and morals. This Supreme Court nomination thing has just really spiraled out of control. First, Bush nominates Harriet Myers. A woman who hasn't even been a judge or ever appointed to a judgeship that she turned down. It appears that her only qualification was that she knew President Bush for many years, which in the Bush Admin. is requirement enough for anything, even FEMA director. Well, after much nashing of teeth and redneck fighting in Congress, Harriet Myers withdrew her nomination and thus inspired a collective sigh that could be heard from coast to coast.

So now Bush nominates the equivalent of a right wing Rambo. His new guy, Alito, discriminates against all minorities equally. No one can accuse him of having a favorite minority; he hates them all. He has voted against gay rights, abortion rights, and a woman's right to a maternity leave under the FMLA. But if you are a white, Anglo-Saxon (especially Southern Baptist) man...then baby, you just hit pay dirt! Papa Alito loves you.

This whole thing reminds me of when I was growing up in Kentucky. We lived in an isolated mountain community where ALL the stores and restaurants were closed on Sunday. Everyone went to church everytime the doors were open. Often times we would be in church while people constantly were dismissing themselves to go smoke. The preacher would even be preaching against it, yet the smokers couldn't stop. More than one time, someone would show up smelling of Jack Daniels. There were marriages with pregnant brides where the groom was just bailed out of jail for domestic abuse. Why do I say all of this? It isn't to anger anyone....it is demonstrate that this church was not much different than any other church. They're full of people who pick and choose their sins. One may decide that smoking is bad, but smacking your wife around is a husband's prerogative. They're all hypocrites. They're far too busy worrying about everyone else's house but not their own. These are the same people who line up outside an abortion clinic with offensive pictures of mutilated babies and shout horrible things to young women who already have more than they can deal with. These are the same people who refuse to pay additional taxes to support the babies they make these young women have. These are the same people who WON'T adopt black and Latino babies.

Anyway, the moral of this rant is simply....I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THE RIGHT WING HYPOCRITES!!!!

(Ok, I feel better)