White House Gone Wild!

I woke up at 4am this morning and noticed the TV was still on. I must have fallen asleep again while watching something on the Comedy Channel. Well, if any of you watch the Comedy Channel then you know that after 11pm all bets are off on that network. You never know what type of late night crap is going to be on that channel in the wee hours. Last night's programming was a particularly classy choice of "Girls Gone Wild". God! I hate that sexist stupid series of, what can only be called, smut. It's horrible. But then this morning while watching MSNBC I was thinking that a good name for the current administration would be "White House Gone Wild." The name leaves all kinds of unwelcomed images in one's mind. Bush and Cheney together....Cheney and Laura....Bush, Cheney, Laura, and Gonzonles...anyway...I found some cool pics. So today's post will hopefully be a little less serious and will put a smile on your face to help you through the week. Click on the link at the end and get ready to laugh....

http://www.funsnap.com/1/bushgirl.swf

Have a good week!!!!

Bumper Sticker Philosophy

I have developed a bit of a "bumper sticker philosophy" over the years. Like the bumper sticker on the right. It's a little blurry so I'll tell you what it says. It says, "Jesus Loves You, But I Still Think You're a Cunt." I love this bumper sticker. Why, you ask? Because it's honest. Not the pretentious crap you usually see on the bumpers of cars. Based on my bumper sticker philosophy I will interpret some common stickers for you now.

"Real Men Love Their Wives" Meaning...I'm boning my secretary, don't tell my wife.

"Real Men Love Jesus" Meaning...I'm boning the Church Secretary, don't tell my wife or Jesus.

"R.I.P. No. 3" Meaning...I love NASCAR, PBR beer, Duct Tape, and hunting things while smelling like deer urine.

"W" Meaning...I love NASCAR, PBR Beer, Duct Tape, and hunting things while smelling of deer urine. I also think education is incredibly over rated.

"It's a Child, Not a Choice" Meaning...I don't support abortion, sex education, condoms, or hygiene or women's rights. I also don't support state sponsored early childhood education, welfare, free lunch programs at schools, or free health care. I want the women to have their babies but I won't help raise them.

"Don't Meddle in the Affairs of Dragons, For You Are Tasty and Crunchy With Ketchup" Meaning...I have no life or no girlfriend. I still play Dungeons and Dragons and live with my mom even though I'm 42. I spend most of my weekends surfing Internet porn sites. I'm pretty sure that Sheila from "Horny Shemales" loves me. I will marry him/her one day.

"My Child is an Honor Student but My President is a Moron" Meaning...How in the hell did I end up in East Tennessee?

If you were offended by the post above, I offer no apologies. I gladly exercise my first amendment rights to free speech and telling the truth. You can always go watch Fox News if you need a Right Wing fix.

Sexism in the City

If I have learned anything by being a female executive it's that sexism is alive and well. Actually it's more than just alive and well, it's damn thriving and reproducing out there.

This week I have been reminded with terrible clarity just how much of an uphill climb it is to be a professional female in a male dominated profession. A coworker wanted to fight with me about how I run my department. I can handle that. It comes with the title. The problem is when he started telling me how to think, what to feel and how feeble my strategies were. I seriously doubt those words would have been uttered to a man. Men just don't talk like that to other men. I find that men, especially in the older generations, like around ages 65 to 75, seem to have a real chip on their shoulder when it comes to women in the workplace. The man who attempted to tell me how I should behave, feel, and act while at work was in his late 60's. What do you tell a man like that? Their sexist ways are hard coded into their psychological make up. It's how they grew up. Believe me, many times I have wanted to say, "Would you just hurry up and die already."

What bothers me even more is how I handled the whole thing. I stood up during the meeting and called them all arrogant pricks in a muttering, pissed off way. I then walked outside to a remote part of the building and cried like a baby. I didn't want to cry but I was so angry that I had lost control. As I have told many people close to me, when I get mad enough to cry...run! There are times when I get that angry that I think about pulling a man's still beating heart out of his chest. Just like on the movies. It scares me when I get that way. But no doubt, crying probably fit perfectly into my co worker's sexist view of women in the workplace. He no doubt thought that was a sign that I couldn't handle it, when actually it was a sign of something totally different.

I once heard someone say that being a "trail blazer" in society was a horrible cross to bear. We tend to make struggles like that of Martin Luther King, Indira Gandhi, etc seem romantic and noble. In reality they're hard, lonely, and dangerous struggles. Most often the changes they cause aren't recognized until they're dead. Even leaders like Pat Head Summit struggle with sexist, bigoted idiots. There isn't a male coach alive that could claim the accomplishments that she has had. Yet she makes less money than the less-than-stellar football coach. What a shame.

I don't compare myself to the greats of this world. I hope to have learned from them though. It's hard being the only female executive in the 40 year history of this company. I often wonder if the toils and strife of this job are worth it. Does it even make a difference? I think not.

Church of the Holy High Reefer...dude!

You know, I support everyone's right to worship. You can worship here, you can worship there. You can worship the sun, moon, stars, Jesus, Mary, Jesus and Mary, the sun and the son, any combination of things or nothing at all. It's really a private matter.

Well, just like every college kid's wet dream there a church of the Holy Reefer, complete with a Mary Jane alter. When they pass the plate around for collection people are taking something out of it rather than putting something in. Now, "the man" is really sticking it to them. The government doesn't think that using marijuana during church is all that religious. They've told them that they're not a legal church. They must stop worship immediately. Commies, hypocrites, villains of democracy!

How many times have all of us sat in church, mass, synagogue, temple, or whatever and thought how nice it would be to have something interesting to do. After about the first five minutes most of us are thinking, "When is this going to be over?" and "How many more minutes??" I bet the guys at the Holy High Reefer aren't thinking that. They probably don't want church to be over.

I say BACK OFF you government control freaks. Let them do what they want. If you start telling people how to worship before you know it, someone will be telling you how to worship. It's bad to mix government and religion. If this keeps up, we'll have churches who have Starbucks Coffee Shoppes in them. Oh, the horror of a MEGA CHURCH!!!!

If You Love Jesus...

I want to announce a new policy for my email, blogs, etc. Do not send me anymore "If you love Jesus" emails, comments, or messages. I do not want to be told that I don't love God if I don't sign and repost every insignificant message that comes my way.

My main issue with this is the "religious bullying" aspect. The issue is that someone actually claims to have some test out there to tell if you are a good Christian. That test is the reposting of an email or the signing of an internet petition. A person feels bullied to complete the request because, heaven forbid, someone would think you didn't love God!

A few months ago I received an email from "a friend". This friend claimed that if I didn't send the email to 10 friends telling them I loved God that bad things would happen. I guess the Jesus Mafia would put a hit out on me or something. Yet another example of the prevalent religious bullying in this world.

Don't let someone tell you what defines "the right way". Don't let someone tell you that asking questions is wrong. Any person, church or organization that makes you check your IQ at the door is not a place to be. The truth should be something we all seek no matter what. Even when it means that what we have believed for so long may not be exactly correct. Even when it means our world won't ever be the same.

The Mother Ship is Calling....Answer It!!

I watched a report on Scientology and it scared the crap out of me. So the following blog is the rambling of a freaked out woman. Read at your own risk.

This "religion" actually believes that a space alien came to earth a few years ago (about 70 million to be exact), and he started the human race. Sorta like ET goes planting some DNA in the fertile primortial ooze of earth.

Scientology started as a brain child of L. Ron Hubbard, a Sci-Fi writer. Hubbard's books really sucked and he had hard time gaining acceptance in the literary world. So when your homies don't accept you, what do you do? You start your own damn religion so that millions will worship you. What many people don't know is that L. Ron Hubbard was ape-shit crazy. He was Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs crazy. He took that crazy delusional personality and turned it into a science. When the government threatened him with tax evasion charges, he got religion and so the Church of Scientology was born. No doubt the biggest cult on the face of the earth.

I would advise anyone who is looking at Scientology to go to thesmokingun.com. They have copies of some of the FBI files on L. Ron Hubbard. It's facinating to see just how bizarre his actions were. It's hard to believe an entire religion was started by the ramblings of a schizoid, delusional, arrogant man who was a bad writer as well. I don't think there are too many people who can claim to be a bigger more fanatical Sci-Fi fan than I. But even I couldn't sit through the movie "Battlefield Earth". The movie was based on L. Ron Hubbards writings with a cast of Scientologists lead by John Travolta. It was voted the worst movie of the century by a critics review group.

People who join this cult are supposed to undergo a deprogramming to remove engrams(beliefs) which were instilled in them as a baby. After the deprogramming the new Scientologist is supposed to participate in the Churches activities to get ready for the coming of Xenu, the alien being that started the whole mess.

And yes.....Xenu's ride is officially called "The Mother Ship". Isn't that freaky deaky??

Valentine's Day....Bah Humbug!!!

Every Valentine's Day is the same. I tell myself that it's all a commercial gimmick. A pseudo-holiday invented by retailers to steal even more of our hard earned money. Well, at least that's what I tell myself.

Then the advertisements start.

You know what I'm talking about. The commercial where a guy rents a movie theater just to play a home movie for him and his girlfriend. Then he pulls out of his pocket a honking, mega, slap your mama diamond ring and asks her to marry him. Then there's the commercial where a guy buys his wife diamond earrings from Kay's Jewlers. The diamond earrings seem to make the whole family sooooo happy. My brother-in-law sums this type of advertising up very succinctly. He says, "I hate those stupid, pussy whipped guys in the commercials. They make us all look bad."

It never fails though. By the time Valentine's Day rolls around my resolve is gone. I find myself feeling left out because I didn't get roses, chocolates and diamonds. Even when I was married, I never got those things for Valentine's Day. After a decade or two of adulthood I'm beginning to see that almost no woman gets that stuff. It's all fantasy.

It's not fair that all my friends and I feel like lesser women because Madison Avenue tells us to expect something that never comes. Even though I know all of this, every year I still hope for diamond earrings, 2 dozen roses and chocolates. But then again, who wouldn't?