Love and Men

I will never understand men. My friend JD tells me that men are very simple. It's women that are complicated. Men want three things, sleep, food (preferably with lots of fat), and sex. The rest is filler for the times when those things aren't going on. Gosh I really hope that there is more to it than that. I want to think that men wonder about the meaning of life and love and all that jazz. Maybe not....

While talking with a friend, I discovered that I'm really a very naive person. I've never been a woman who likes "going around the block" with just any guy. Perhaps that makes me a prude. I don't know. But I do know that I can't be any other way; it's who I am.

Among the many things my friend and I discussed was the subject of "guy talk". Women know that guys have there own language. It can be crude and yucky, but it exists all the same. For example, "guy talk" for having sex could be....

1) Knock off a chew (never heard this until lately)
2) Seeing a vertical smile
3) Taking the flesh colored bus to tuna town (gross, I know)
4) Tap that ass (popular)
5) Ridin' the pony (popular)

Let me be clear to all the guys out there....Women don't talk like this. About the worst you will hear from a woman are phrases like "horizontal mambo" or "doing the deed". We tend not to refer to our sacred parts in terms of salt water fish species.

Will men and women ever reach a common ground? Uh.....Hell No, but it's fun to try. Just don't refer to me in terms of "chicken of the sea".