Isle Rage

I went to Krogers this afternoon to buy groceries for the bottomless pit stomaches of my children. It's amazing how much kids can eat. My son could eat 24 hrs a day and never be full. Maybe he has a tape worm. hummm.....

Anyway, back to my diatribe. Everytime I go shopping it never fails to happen. Some older lady puts her shopping cart in the MIDDLE of the isle and stands there, just mesmerized by the Windex or whatever she is looking at. She pulls the item down from the shelf. Reads the label. Looks at it intently, as if to see the individual molecules within it. The whole time, I'm standing behind her trying to get around her depends laden ass.

I know what you're thinking. Why don't you just say "Excuse me. I need to go around." Well, I usually say just that. This time was no exception. The lady looked at me, then proceeded to move her cart over...about 2 centimeters. Now I'm pissed. What in the hell is so interesting about window cleaner? Has she lived in a basement her whole life and never needed to clean windows? I think not. At this point, I am determined to get around her. Yes, I could just turn my cart around and go the other way, but why should I? I'm sure her behavior requires people to turn their carts around all the time. Not today. Not me. I will stand here until she dies if I have to.

Well, it turns out I didn't have to wait for her to be carried out to a waiting hearse. I continued to try to inch my way around until she was visibly perturbed. hehehehehehe She moved her cart all the way over, let out an audible exasperated sigh, and looked at me with bitch eyes. I looked at her, smiled, and started singing as I passed her. Bitch.

If you stop in the isle at the grocery store, think of others and move far out of the way. You never know when someone will have a case of isle rage.